We can’t be oppressed, singularly, as women. If we are oppressed as women then we are all oppressed, as a species, or a culture, which is to say that no one thrives in an oppressive system. No one comes out of that arrangement “alive”. And we are oppressed. We have a #metoo movement, and a larger, #timesup movement that calls our attention to it. But oppression is internal before it is of the world.
What does that even mean?
Let’s review some basics. Say we have a tribe. The hunters of the tribe go hunt things. For our example we will say they hunt deer (I apologize for the theoretical deer that are harmed in this analogy). The hunters bring the deer back to the other peeps, who have gathered some spices and collected some firewood and woven some blankies. Everyone feasts. There is joy and connection and some pretty entertaining shenanigans by firelight. Let’s call this simplification “Happy Tribe”. The model is hunt, share, eat, connect, contribute, feel, grow.
Now let’s take our hunters and change the rules on them. Instead of hunting and sharing and connecting and celebrating, we are going to send them out to hunt the deer, but stockpile them in a Tepee or Hut, or Igloo – any tribal concept of storage shelter will do. Now we tell our hunters that we will not be celebrating their bounty, because it is not enough. It will never again be enough, because they are not worthy hunters any longer unless they have more carcasses than the next hunter. However the game is rigged. Each level of accumulation results in fleeting esteem, but there is no end where the accumulation is enough. There is no celebration, sharing, connection, or collaboration. And in order to seek worthiness they must starve the birthing, creating, receiving, gentle, compassionate wise ones of the tribe. We now have a “Sad Tribe” whose model is compete, accumulate, disconnect, dominate, and aggress.
The truth is that (generally speaking) we are all hunters, suffering from a model of hunting that hurts us, and keeps us in constant lack, BECAUSE, our inner hunter does not serve our tribe. The masculine part of ourselves does not serve our feminine. We are cut off from our “feminine” side; the being, receiving, nurturing part of the self that feels, births, and creates. It is seen as dangerous, weak, and flawed.
Then what is going on inside of us, internally, is also seen outside of us. The hunters ‘out there’ have all the power and resources, what we call privilege, but they aren’t really having fun, because you don’t when you have no meaning, or worth, or connection when you are cut off from feeling, weak if you show compassion, and oppressed by your oppression.
In short, everyone starves here.
You can’t remedy the physically starving by calling out the emotionally starving.
You need to change the model, and redefine worth.
You need to place the hunt itself in service of the tribe.
You need to place the thinking, reasoning, acting part of the self in service of the nurturing being feeling part of the self, the emotional health and wellness, aka, the whole self. Thought in service of emotion. Brain in service of heart.
Or you end up with an overthinking, overdoing, overworking, overstressing person, who feels like s/he is never enough and is constantly tired and in lack, and then you end up with a world filled with the overthinking overworrying emotionally disconnected unfulfilled folks. Dunno about you, but that’s one glass of bubbly short of my kinda party.
The hunters run around bullying the gatherers, the prizes are awarded for hunting to the select few that outhunt the others, no one is eating, rejoicing, connecting, or dancing the jig.
And when you value and teach unmitigated domination as an end goal, you end up with oppressors, and bullies and rapists. Funny that. Funny, but oh so not funny, and oh so tragic. There can be no end to the taking, because the pit is proverbially bottomless.
Is it okay that men make more than women??? That women are afraid to walk at night? That positions of power are used to sexually victimize the vulnerable? HELL NO! But it precisely because it is not okay, that it needs healing at the root, at the cause, not a sad renegotiation of who gets what, or which end of the pain and suffering continuum we fall on, which simply ends up as an updated version of “pain and suffering for all”.
It’s not okay to be the victim of any of it. But I wouldn’t want to wake up next week as the guy who waits in a dark alley to prey upon his victims – I wouldn’t want to live that self loathing, fear, and predatory lack.
Power over, is just a form of powerlessness.
As women, in the outside world side of this epidemic, we don’t want to simply hunt like men and get paid for it like men. Whether or not we hunt in our role in society, we want to do what we do in service of the nurturing, knowing, wise, feeling, compassionate, gentle self within.
And, we want that for our men.
I don’t say any of this lightly. I walk with victims of rape, molestation, bullying, misogyny, through their deepest hurt and help restore their sense of power and dignity and purity. I walk with men through their deep shame and teach them the strength of understanding their feeling, needing selves.
But I say it with conviction.
The time has come for all of us to heal.
Blessings to you,
— Love Erin
P.S. If you are interested in a deeper connection with the intuitive, healing, creating, feminine within yourself, ask me about my upcoming Invoking the Goddess class, or if the class format is not for you, consider working privately with me.
P.P.S. For those of you who have been asking, the Divine Feminine is simply the feminine principle expressed as a higher power – so think of replacing the angry dad in the sky image of “God” or a creator, with one that is gentle and compassionate, peaceful and nurturing, such as Great Mother, or Mother Earth, or archetypes of the Goddess; a sacred connection to the feminine ways of being. Think of spirituality embracing the feminine, which also means a divine co-parent who is a protective, brave, strong and forceful masculine without the anger, punishment or condemnation that we often associate with a “male” creator or god.
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