Today I want to talk to you about the power of moving in the direction of something that matters to you, even when you think you can’t even think about it.
You can’t think about it without all of the obstacles appearing on your mental screen like an annoying website pop up.
The impossible painful annoying obstacles that you can’t begin to know how to solve for.
And each one begets another.
They breed like spring bunnies.
Oh those terrible obstacles.
You try to solve for one and it turns into twenty sub obstacles.
They give birth to ‘if only’s’.
If only this could be like that.
If only I didn’t have to deal with that.
You beseech the sky, the Universe, the World to give you a freaking break.
If only this one thing.
Maybe it’s a part of a career that is bogging you down.
Maybe it’s the security you need to start something new.
Maybe it’s a break from all of the small obstacles that keep, again, popping up.
Maybe it’s the energy, the focus, the space.
Maybe it’s a change in your romantic relationship.
Maybe it’s to find that person.
If only I didn’t have to go it alone.
If only I caught a break.
If only I knew how to change.
The ‘if only’s’ get tied to brother and sister ‘if only’s’.
If only I felt differently.
If only they were different.
If only I could get ahead of it.
Your smart brain follows the threads, in this direction and that.
What if I did this, could it solve for that?
What if I did that, could it solve for this?
If I could just lose ten pounds, I could find the love of my life and then these other 101 uncertainties would end.
If I could just make time for this creative dream, I could be happy.
I should be able to do this.
If only I could meet the right connections.
And the other 7,643 things that you would need to do to get there.
And then it happens. The blue screen of death, my IT beloveds like to call it.
Everything shuts down, feels way too tiring and hard, way too scary.
The threads we have meticulously followed in multitudinous directions, are all balled together into a fat knot.
We don’t want to think about any of it.
Not the thing we want.
Not how to get there.
Not the good things.
Instead we give IT that dream, that hope, that need, a big “talk to the hand”.
We shove shove shove it into the closet and jam closed the door and mark it, ‘when X is solved’. When I get that miracle. When I win the lotto. When I have a gawd forsaken peaceful day. When there is SKY WRITING (I mean who doesn’t looooove sky writing).
And that is the story of how it never happens.
How you feel exhausted, angry, triggered, terrified and beleaguered when anyone mentions…IT.
So who the hell am I to start talking to you, on a Monday no less, about moving in the direction of IT?
Well, I am the person who untangles your strings, for starters.
I am the woman who smooths the way, so that you can get to the end of a thread without the bottom falling out.
I am the one who remaps and rewires, and helps you heal those wounds that make you not even want to talk about that one part of it that seems to be an obstacle to the rest.
That broken heart.
That thing you secretly hate about yourself.
That blame you take on.
That doubt you feel.
That super small thinking you have fallen into because your glasses are foggy.
Or someone told you the wrong story.
Or you’re too tired.
I am trained in seeing open doors, and pathways forward, and bloody miracles inside of seeming OBSTACLES.
That is pretty ninja.
Thanks. I was just needing a pat on the back just then, JK.
Seriously though, strings are tricky damning little things that are barely visible but can tie everything up.
So today, I am giving you a hack.
Start with the impossible, the scary, the biggest ugliest dumbest problem you have and it’s entire posse of obstacles, start with the most ridiculous and unachievable dream, and instead of tying and retying it into a ball of horror, don’t do that.
Just pick one teeny tiny small thing you can do.
One bit so small that you can’t say no to it.
And do that thing.
Say one teeny tiny small yes, to trying to try.
Decide for just a second that you don’t have to have it all sewn up, to start sewing.
Instead of putting IT on a shelf, put the why’s wherefores’ and impossibilities on the shelf.
Where they belong.
And resolve or resign to one small piece.
Five minutes of freedom from why not.
Five string free minutes.
And see where that lands you.
And if you’re a real keener?
Well then call me up.
I’ll cat’s cradle those strings.
I’ll knit you an entire sock.
I mean I absolutely cannot and will not do anything as domestic as knitting.
But I will metaphorically yarn bomb your life.
And then a year from now when the wedding bells are ringing, or you’re on that expedition, or you’re publishing your memoirs, or polishing your award, or counting up your DeNiro’s feeling free and happy, and you can’t believe you did this amazing ridiculous beautiful thing with your life, we’ll meet for a glass of champers.
No strings attached.
P.S. If you have a friend or loved one who is struggling sometimes a few sessions of support can make all the difference. Reach out and we’ll find the solution that is right for them.
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